OF RAPES AND RAPISTS
Note: This write up is
neither a rant nor a demoralization of men or the upliftment of women. It is a
listing down of facts with thoughts. Any person who doesn’t accept with this
content is free to voice their opinion but not to me! Thanks.
Yes, we all do gather our thoughts and actions from many places. I
gather mine from what happens around.
The recent Reshma-rape case (name changed as far as I know), is
just another one of the examples of a male-dominated and male-chauvinistic
society.
On the risk of being a little offensive here, it was appalling to
know that eight men decided to rape a girl who was hardly 16 years old. The
fact that two of the eight men were married did not come as a surprise to me.
In a society which is so strongly influenced by sex and sex games,
it is interesting to see what people restore to, to get into wish fulfillments.
Talking about sex is one thing and going out and committing a sex crime is
entirely different.
In a society where there is news of father raping daughters (which
comes off as an attacking surprise to many), brothers molesting sisters and so
on, the matter or definition of relations is quite a question to ask.
In this case a Dalit girl was raped. And as Mr. B. Sateesh Balan,
the Senior Superintendent of Police, rightly puts it, it isn’t about the caste
or the area, it is neither about the grade of the society, it is simply about
gender. Honestly, I couldn’t agree more.
With stereotypes and/or accusations and the placement of women in
society, it is quite a pity that India has a long way to go in the field of
protection of women.
The funny part about all this is that when a woman is a little
rouge, defending, harsh and crude, she is looked up with disgust, along with
being labeled anything from brash to tom boyish and as I have commonly seen and
heard- gay! Really? So much for being out-spoken and standing up to oneself?
Quite a pity I must say!
When a girl is meek, shy and usually defenseless she is straight
away labeled as weak and she is the perfect fit to be married off! This isn’t
restricted to a certain section, class or caste of the society. This is
followed unanimously and enormously. It can be seen even in the most elite
class where the marriage is a term of the boundless exchange of money and
matter between families. This again is
not applicable to every person/family from that section or any section of the
society. (This is something like a warning.).
There are exceptions everywhere and sometimes these exceptions make
up the cream of the society! Sad, but true!
Coming back to rape victims, the experience cannot be understood.
According to me it is impossible to understand how a person (man or woman)
feels when they are raped. As one of us were never in the situation, relating
to that person is no less than foolery and it is no where close to
sympathy/empathy. If someone says I understand what you’re going through then it
is just a phrase, an empty one, devoid of emotions.
In Reshma’s case, the Haryana Khaap Panchayat came up with a
convenient reply- “If you would have married her off before 18 she would be
safe!” To the questions of the more “logical” society, when they asked the
Khaap, “What about the married women getting raped?” they did not, obviously,
have an answer.
People say she will be fine and she will recover within a few
days/weeks. Reshma says I have to move on, maybe leave the village and study
ahead as I want to be an IPS officer!
I think does that matter? Leaving a place doesn’t mean that the
memories will move away as well. After being raped and molested by eight men, a
girl is still living the horrors of those memories. How should one recover? I
don’t how! I haven’t been in that situation, thankfully (to God).
About rapists- they definitely don’t get a death sentence as much
as I know. Most cases according to the report are stopped at conviction. Isn’t
it amazing how wonderfully our judicial system works? Hats off to that! The
offenders are given a certain term in prison or a certain penalty fee or both
and then they are let off to explore more victims. Unless a rape case hasn’t made
it to the rounds of every news channel about a million times a week, the rapist
isn’t really ‘awarded’ a death sentence. And even if one such individual/group
does end up hanging, they gain the sympathy of millions of others in that
community- something like a martyr. I wish they learnt a lesson rather than
extending sympathy and awarding names!
About the place- is it true that people are rapped only in Haryana?
Is every other place safe?
Thinking about ways to minimize attacks (of any kind) against women
in general is a reform that I would live to see. What I can suggest?
Girls wear anything- guys ogle! The range could begin anywhere-
from salwaar kameez to a really skimpy dress! As long as a girl/woman/female
exists boys/men will ogle! I sometimes wonder why don’t women look at men and ogle.
It is a different thing that men don’t have many things we could really bless
our eyesight with but what would it be like if the world turned upside down?
For once I wish it did, men would realize how those eyes prick when
someone checks you out and sometimes does a complete 360 degree turn just to
warm their eyes and maybe something else too!
Point being, in spite of the obvious nature of men looking at women
and vice versa, a specific line cannot be drawn as to where should it stop. This
isn’t possible only for one reason- the line will be extended by different
people as per their convenience- rape being one of them.
Whether education, reform in dressing and manners or hypnotizing men
to change their attitude is needed, is something I don’t know. But somewhere
somehow, when a man rapes a woman or a man is rapped as well, or a child is harassed
sexually or molested, it shows that we are moving towards what is called as
barbaric attitude.
The evolution process is to grow, in positive terms. In today’s
world we are heading, definitely progressively, but towards the wrong direction
and on barbaric terms!
Note: To read more on
the above case please refer to this link: http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/other-states/lost-in-haryana-rape-debate-a-girls-story/article3988816.ece?homepage=true
