OF RAPES AND RAPISTS

OF RAPES AND RAPISTS

Note: This write up is neither a rant nor a demoralization of men or the upliftment of women. It is a listing down of facts with thoughts. Any person who doesn’t accept with this content is free to voice their opinion but not to me! Thanks.

Yes, we all do gather our thoughts and actions from many places. I gather mine from what happens around.

The recent Reshma-rape case (name changed as far as I know), is just another one of the examples of a male-dominated and male-chauvinistic society. 

On the risk of being a little offensive here, it was appalling to know that eight men decided to rape a girl who was hardly 16 years old. The fact that two of the eight men were married did not come as a surprise to me. 

In a society which is so strongly influenced by sex and sex games, it is interesting to see what people restore to, to get into wish fulfillments. Talking about sex is one thing and going out and committing a sex crime is entirely different.  

In a society where there is news of father raping daughters (which comes off as an attacking surprise to many), brothers molesting sisters and so on, the matter or definition of relations is quite a question to ask. 

In this case a Dalit girl was raped. And as Mr. B. Sateesh Balan, the Senior Superintendent of Police, rightly puts it, it isn’t about the caste or the area, it is neither about the grade of the society, it is simply about gender. Honestly, I couldn’t agree more.

With stereotypes and/or accusations and the placement of women in society, it is quite a pity that India has a long way to go in the field of protection of women. 

The funny part about all this is that when a woman is a little rouge, defending, harsh and crude, she is looked up with disgust, along with being labeled anything from brash to tom boyish and as I have commonly seen and heard- gay! Really? So much for being out-spoken and standing up to oneself? Quite a pity I must say!

When a girl is meek, shy and usually defenseless she is straight away labeled as weak and she is the perfect fit to be married off! This isn’t restricted to a certain section, class or caste of the society. This is followed unanimously and enormously. It can be seen even in the most elite class where the marriage is a term of the boundless exchange of money and matter between families. This again is not applicable to every person/family from that section or any section of the society. (This is something like a warning.).

There are exceptions everywhere and sometimes these exceptions make up the cream of the society! Sad, but true!

Coming back to rape victims, the experience cannot be understood. According to me it is impossible to understand how a person (man or woman) feels when they are raped. As one of us were never in the situation, relating to that person is no less than foolery and it is no where close to sympathy/empathy. If someone says I understand what you’re going through then it is just a phrase, an empty one, devoid of emotions. 

In Reshma’s case, the Haryana Khaap Panchayat came up with a convenient reply- “If you would have married her off before 18 she would be safe!” To the questions of the more “logical” society, when they asked the Khaap, “What about the married women getting raped?” they did not, obviously, have an answer. 

People say she will be fine and she will recover within a few days/weeks. Reshma says I have to move on, maybe leave the village and study ahead as I want to be an IPS officer!

I think does that matter? Leaving a place doesn’t mean that the memories will move away as well. After being raped and molested by eight men, a girl is still living the horrors of those memories. How should one recover? I don’t how! I haven’t been in that situation, thankfully (to God). 

About rapists- they definitely don’t get a death sentence as much as I know. Most cases according to the report are stopped at conviction. Isn’t it amazing how wonderfully our judicial system works? Hats off to that! The offenders are given a certain term in prison or a certain penalty fee or both and then they are let off to explore more victims. Unless a rape case hasn’t made it to the rounds of every news channel about a million times a week, the rapist isn’t really ‘awarded’ a death sentence. And even if one such individual/group does end up hanging, they gain the sympathy of millions of others in that community- something like a martyr. I wish they learnt a lesson rather than extending sympathy and awarding names!

About the place- is it true that people are rapped only in Haryana? Is every other place safe? 

Thinking about ways to minimize attacks (of any kind) against women in general is a reform that I would live to see. What I can suggest?

Girls wear anything- guys ogle! The range could begin anywhere- from salwaar kameez to a really skimpy dress! As long as a girl/woman/female exists boys/men will ogle! I sometimes wonder why don’t women look at men and ogle. It is a different thing that men don’t have many things we could really bless our eyesight with but what would it be like if the world turned upside down? 

For once I wish it did, men would realize how those eyes prick when someone checks you out and sometimes does a complete 360 degree turn just to warm their eyes and maybe something else too!

Point being, in spite of the obvious nature of men looking at women and vice versa, a specific line cannot be drawn as to where should it stop. This isn’t possible only for one reason- the line will be extended by different people as per their convenience- rape being one of them. 

Whether education, reform in dressing and manners or hypnotizing men to change their attitude is needed, is something I don’t know. But somewhere somehow, when a man rapes a woman or a man is rapped as well, or a child is harassed sexually or molested, it shows that we are moving towards what is called as barbaric attitude.

The evolution process is to grow, in positive terms. In today’s world we are heading, definitely progressively, but towards the wrong direction and on barbaric terms!

Note: To read more on the above case please refer to this link: http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/other-states/lost-in-haryana-rape-debate-a-girls-story/article3988816.ece?homepage=true

FRATERNITY OR FLATTERY?

Usually when people talk about the Constitution they talk about the Preamble. And the preamble talks about many things- one being fraternity, amongst the many other good words which are heard and spoken of but never used.

Fraternity, in its most basic form means brotherhood.

Now I have no idea why or how that logic still applies or even if it does where exactly does it apply?

Thinking of an example, it applies when a certain mob wishes to delocalize or dislocate a certain section of the society or a certain function in the certain section of the society.

Here, fraternity is shown in such valour that what should I say? Mobs come down together to wreck up public property, break into shops, create ruckus and then move away.

Who takes the blame? The mob! Who is punished? No one as who can identify a mob? Mostly everyone present as eye-witness was the ones wrecking up the society anyway!

From all this I also understand one more thing, that fraternity today is confined to flattery and wish fulfillment. How do I dare to say this?

I say this as in India, if you wish to get a job done then there are two ways of doing it. One either by paying a bribe which could drain your expenses of months together and second, you could spin yarns of flattery of the person who you wish to get your work done from.

In my frequent, every day travel, I have seen the latter example way too often.  For instance, as I was travelling in a bus one day, a traffic policeman climbed into the bus. Obviously he could travel for free as he is a traffic policeman!

Like travelling free wasn’t enough he started laying down rules as to, “Look at that auto! He doesn’t know how to drive!” “Look at that woman on the road? Can’t she cross with some sense?”

And I thought, “Yeah right! Now you are going to lay out all the rules and laws! Aren’t you?”

Mind you, that wasn’t it yet! In a while something interesting started. As the traffic policeman started blaring, a while later the bus driver agreed to every yes and no of his. Besides my head turning left and right, altering between the traffic policeman who was foot boarding and the bus driver who was driving, I thought, “Why not? After all don’t you guys get away without being punished when you break laws? Isn’t it thanks to your sweet tongues which roll out long every time you end up being a donkey and have to follow you master?!”

Flattery or fraternity I am confused!

P. S: I don’t know if there is a law which allows free travel of public servants. If anyone except the Google knows this, do let me know.

HEAD SCARFS AND ENVIRONMENT

With scarf covered heads and nothing but eyes visible, this culture has become a wild infection.

In the past few years or rather 2 years I have seen a lot of women and not just the Burkha clad women cover their entire face except their eyes.

I know it is compulsory to the Muslim women and I respect it but girls and women form other cultures seem to love this trend or rather they are forced into it.

Talk about hiding everything including your nose and mouth and increasing the amount of suffocation!

Who is to blame for all this?

I am myself one of those few who happens to cover her head but nose and mouth is not my forte. It is suffocating and irritating.

So coming back to the question of why more and more women are turning to this sense of fashion? The answer is pretty simple. With the amount of increase in frequency of cars, busses, bikes and other vehicles on road, the amount and frequency of hair fall, scalp and skin problems, respiratory problems and other issues has raised and reached a level so high that it seems strange if women don’t actually wear them.

Recently a friend of mine visited me in Hyderabad and it was interesting to note what he thought about the current scenario and also more on climate change.

He completed his graduation in Vellore and the temperatures there are pretty severe if not anything else. According to him girls in Vellore are often seen either in shades or they use umbrellas. The interesting part is that if boys use either of this they end up being called stupid or a few more weird names.

What I fail to understand is why should anyone stereotype anyone else just because they are carrying something as a fashion accessory, a protection against sun or to simply beat the heat? So much harassment just to stay your way?

Look at the now lost forever cover of the trees. If Hyderabad at any pint boasted about its tree cover then I think she should work at getting it back. With so many buildings coming up it is not only difficult but impossible to find a tree and stop under its shade.

How are the actresses going to dance around the trees anymore now? Well, that’s just a thought!

More so, everyone now wants to own a car or a vehicle as such and there is not much space on the roads. Just imagine what would be the condition of the roads, vehicles, people and of course the stores around when the metros will come up. They are soon on their way by the way!

Let’s start with the blame game again. These days everyone wants to work which includes people of ages like 20 onwards or sometimes even lesser. Due to this public transport has to be increased and therefore roads have to widen. For this trees have to be cut and there by this adds to more pollution.

The simple equation hence comes to:

Increase in population=directly proportional to=increase in want of employment= directly proportional to =increase in public transport= directly proportional to=cutting down of tress= directly proportional to=increase in pollution= directly proportional to=increase in the number of head scarfs.

Isn’t that simple? Well it might be but what isn’t simple is the sympathetic situation of the area and the Mother Earth on the whole.

As I said all things are directly proportional so changing one will change everything. However the million dollar question is what to begin with?

Concentration on inflation (forcing every member of the family to run outside to earn), increasing the tree cover (which means reduction of vehicles on road) or increasing the public transport (which means increase in tree cutting)?

I hope someone comes up with a solution which beats mine and can make more sense and brings little or no altercations along with it.

Until then, ladies continue the head scarfs!

Patriarchy. Is it what it seems?

The Indian system of things since times immemorial has been to give the utmost respect to women but to provide the maximum and immense power to men. The power seems genuine too. After all, when humans were hunter-gatherers, the men were in charge of food and security while the women choose to look after the kids. This was also due to a fact that men are biologically stronger than women.

At a time when man and woman had to make their own huts and make homes out of caves, this was more than justified- the male domination.

Eventually over a period of time, this became a rule. Even though the society evolved, human beings evolved physically but not mentally. They remained stuck to the idea of male domination. And this continues to this day.

Patriarchy, in all forms of the word clearly defines male domination. It is a pity to see the conditions and the situations of women due to the monotonous cry of men which only screams but fails to hear.

The entire idea of parity is not only lost but it is also given up. And given up for good! At least that is the major assumption. This being said, it is interesting to note that women, at least in certain cultures and sections of society, have assumed and believed that the man is the know-all and do-all. Where some cultures and societies continue to struggle against it, the others use an “I am used to this” approach.

Ultimately, with more and more women giving up before men rises, the struggle by a few who wish to bring parity in the society fall face first and fail miserably. This not only lowers self-esteem, it also includes the destruction of an enormous effort to keep things in balance.

Today, many women strive to achieve an equality status in the society. This is due to several reasons. Patriarchy in its full and complete form means the domination or the upper hand of the father and his family in the society. As this happens to be only in a legal term, women in any family or society have the right to make decisions and not just suggest them.

In many situations women don’t even get to suggest or advice when it comes to making and taking family decisions. This is not just injustice or down right disrespect of women, it also sends out a message that women are not important.

Further still many women inculcate this in their kids that the male is more important and should be looked after well.

It is for this reason that women eat in the end, after every member of the house has had their food and this is prevalent in many Indian customs and cultures. This not only forces them to eat whatever is left over, it also keeps them low on nutrition value.

In many societies women go long ways to fetch water. This search for water could be miles away sometimes with women carrying babies or being at any stage of pregnancy. It is true that exercise is good for health but walking for such long distances, putting in so much energy and time and eating absolutely low nutrition food, takes a toll on them and their babies, born or unborn.

If patriarchy is the rule of the day why can’t men go out to fetch water and women take care of kids and food?

Unfortunately, if a man is moving out of his home and seeking a job in another location away from home, then the responsibility of kids, food, animals, water and farming, all these come on the women.

So much for patriarchy!

If men are made to protect and women are supposed to take care then where is the line to be drawn?

Due to the patriarchy system and the false belief that men can rule, the current condition in terms of violation of women is a bitter story to tell and has immense chapters to it.

I am not going to take any real time examples as I see no point in stating them and discussing them all over again.

Women are ill treated at home by their husbands, fathers, sons and sometimes even their brothers. Not all ill treatments mean that they are harassed in any way, be it sexually, verbally or physically. But it definitely means that there is a violation of human rights done whether it is in disturbing the mental peace or causing physical stress.

The roads are never safe for women. Stats say that Delhi is the most unsafe city in the world. The maximum crimes occur there but this is just due to the area of Delhi. As it happens to be a small city, the area is smaller and hence the crime per area increases. This is why it happens to be the most unsafe city in the world.

But ignoring the area factor, any city in the world todays is not safe for women. It is not like con-women or women criminals do not exist, the fact remains the ratio between the female criminals to the male criminals, sees a huge diversion and difference between it.

The news or rape cases of men is rare but when it comes to women either being sexually assaulted or raped, the stats top the chart!

All these and many more evils like female infanticide, female feticide, assaulting cousin sisters, rape of daughters by fathers, rape of boy and girl child, are but common events. So common that now if anything worse to worse happens, it flashes in the news for a while and then loses both its voice and vigour to move people.

People are used to seeing, hearing and talking about such events. Every time there is an unlawful activity against a woman news channels portray it as breaking news, get a few women empowerment members and a few ministers and have panel discussions where everyone is screaming at everyone else. At the end of it the channel gets its ratings, viewers find out a few more facts and stats and a few families vow to keep their females safe. Chapter closed, throw the book into the water.

That’s how the society has gotten used to to all the unlawful activities around it!

All these assumptions, habits and affairs stem out from the roots of patriarchy. Patriarchy isn’t bad, but when used in its right sense. Until then it shall continue to create a false consciousness around itself which would command people to make men powerful and respect women only on paper not in person!

PARTY WHAT A PARTY!

The Indian Constitution is huge, humongous, big. The number of Political parties in India are a lot. The population of India is the second highest. So after all this, the support and turn out given to each party will be varied.

In India a lot of money is spent on campaigning for a particular party pre elections, post which a lot of money is spent on enjoying the celebrations and at the expense of who?- the tax payers! Interestingly only around 30% or so of the earning population pay taxes. Now with that wonderful figure of money that the government has, most of it is used up in campaigning and then in celebrating. The left over money is always eaten up (or burped) by the politicians with a few fly-overs and roads going up here and there.

According to facts a party is allowed to spend only around 15 lakhs on a particular area (not constituency) in spite of which crores of money is spent on each constituency. Giving a fact sheet or an expenses sheet for the same is quite a task which most party leaders either fail doing or just ignore out of convenience. Not like the ones that give the figures are Satyawaadi Harishchandra either.

With loud blaring horns and innumerable people on bikes and cars, with road jams and traffic nuisance, with loud speakers booming out Bollywood and random English numbers (songs), it is less of a sight and more of a pain to a lot of people.

Most of the bikers are seen ‘humping’ or jumping on the bikes and many people sit on windows of cars while the cars are in motion. This isn’t a sight you would see otherwise on roads. Interestingly because a certain party has won the elections they get the license to flaunt rules and break and bend them according to their convenience.

How ironical that the one party which is supposed to get in law and order, maintain rules and regulations and call shots for positive have a bunch of ruckus creating mob who on the name of celebrations bring down the utmost chaos in the society.

What is the best part of all this- you can’t say a word. Why? Because if you dare so, in a crowd of hundreds of people you would flow away like a piece of hay. If you raise your voice against one person you will have to face the wrath of the mob. It is interesting that in a democracy where people have the maximum power to choose their representatives actually go against all law and order under the influence of mob. There are a few people who wish to control the wrong or bad mobs but obviously they aren’t able to do so. This could be because they are fewer in number or that they do not gain as much honest and supportive people who wouldn’t take off on seeing danger approaching.

The multi-party system in India is a wonderful creation by the great Politicians who wish to divide and rule. Little do they realise that this has been pretty much the cause of a lot of fall and very little rise of the country and nation as a whole. With lucrative offers like food packets and free clothes, it is easy to turn the minds of a lot of rural population of this country in favour of a certain party. As India is made of more rural than urban population, targeting the former works in the favour of most parties. It is this aspect that most politicians take advantage of and ride on.

Multi Party system will continue and so will its advantages and disadvantages. The ‘food for thought’ here is this- if under the influence of less or uneducated mob there is a ruckus being created, then are educated politicians serving the nation right? If yes, for how long (before the old age and the creed takes over them!).

BLOOD DONATION- NO MORE FEAR

It is fascinating how one unit (in this case 450ml) of blood can save lives of up to three people. It is also fascinating how donating blood feels so good, especially after I have lived with the fear of needles all my life.

It was my first donation today (3^rd March, 2012) and I support the fact that it doesn’t hurt while your donating blood, it just feels nice.

An initial prick (as my friends call it an ant bite), a squeeze ball and a bag of blood, that’s all which blood donation involves. Yes, some people might faint, others might feel cramps but that is only is you haven’t had a good sleep and/or a good meal. Fulfill the conditions of having a good meal, a good night’s sleep (obviously the night before) and just be calm and there you go- you’re all set to donate blood.

‘Rakta daan jeevan daan’, (blood donation equal to giving a life) I am sure one or more of you would have heard this and yes it is actually giving life to someone. One of my lecturers mentioned in her speech that what if, god forbid, your relative or close friend needed blood, would you still give silly excuses like your scared of needles or don’t want to donate as your blood type is common?

A room full of people doing a good cause, a few friends expressing their happiness, a few units of blood was I guess enough to inspire me to donate blood. The entire process is not painful and blood donation is equivalent to new blood in the system which is again equal to energy.

There are more benefits and hardly any harm in donating blood (or probably the only harm is fainting, if you can call it so!). It is not only a social cause but it is also a reason of satisfaction and genuine happiness.

Go ahead and donate blood if you see a blood donation camp anywhere. Don’t just keep waiting for an emergency because you never know when you might not be eligible for donating!

Socho mat kar ke dekho, sach main, achaa lagta hai.

SUPERSTITIONS

It was almost inevitable. I had to see it. It was big and clear in the sky. ‘Poornima’ is just at the beginning of this weekend.

It was shining clearly in the dusky sky. It was almost sun set and the moon was out there to show his face. He was the first thing I had noticed looking up from the balcony. He was bright and pretty.

And then almost instantly I saw the lone star which came as a package with the moon. I couldn’t miss it. I saw it and immediately regretted seeing it. My friend once told me how a lone star should never be seen. If you see one lone star you had to see another two.

So, I craned my neck, strained my eyes but in vain. I couldn’t see any other star. I was disappointed as the story she told me had a conclusion that if you see a lone star it brought bad luck. Now I wondered as to what kind of bad luck it would bring to me.

There were too many things going on in my life and I did not want any of them going off track. So just before leaving the balcony I hoped to see two other stars but only ended up seeing flocks of crows and thought wow how better is this?! And how worse could it get.

I kept myself busy later in the evening but the thought lurked in my head. It kept playing hide and seek through the walls of my mind and I kept thinking what was going to go wrong. Then I thought am I really being dragged into all this? I was scared about a non rational thing and I felt stupid after a while. Had I really given into something of that sort?

Then my mind drifted to another reality. What was with our ancestors? Why did they always want to tag some belief or superstition as we call it today, with every other thing? Why did they always want to make people believe something which weren’t true and logical? Then I thought maybe it was right.

Even though our ancestors had famous names like Chanakya, Aryabhatta, Panini etc., having enough room for logic and invention, we saw the burliest of illogical and non rational beliefs which hang around till today.

Superstitions.

When I think deep into these superstitions all I can think of is that do they really mean what they say? Do they intend to send out the same message as they are speaking? Indeed no, but what else could you tell people of that age rather than ideas which would question their religious or traditional beliefs.

So here I would bring out a few superstitions and try and give their scientific explanations, at least to convince myself.

When people ask you not to walk under a ladder is not because you would stop growing or that you would be possessed by the devil, it is because walking under ladders could be harmful in a general sense. This belief came around at the time when electric lights weren’t yet around and people had to manage in oil lamps at the brightest. Now when you walk under a ladder at such a time when all else is dark except the circumference of the circle around the oil lamp, what else could you expect but be careful. During day time, walking under ladders wasn’t allowed as the grounds during those times were undulated. Now they didn’t have the facilities of tar and concrete roads where all ladders could hold still and not tumble over everything or everyone. This was why the superstition was attached to forbid people from walking under the ladders in the night and in general.

When people ask you not to walk the path crossed by a black cat is not because that would bring you bad luck it is because you could fall sick. Cats whether black, white or any other colour are known to give out energies which aren’t very good for the human body. It is a known fact that every living being has certain kind of energy around them whether positive or negative. When you cross the path crossed by a black cat or any other cat, it leaves behind its negative energy which is not always but sometimes harmful. It isn’t so harmful that a person may die, but harmful enough to give a fever for a day or two. This couldn’t exactly be highlighted by our ancestors or may be explained to other people and so the superstitious tag attached.

I grew up listening to this line from my mother, “Do not sweep the home after sun set. ‘Lakshmi’ will walk away from the house.” Indeed according to her, if you sweep the house post sun set, you lose money. However, every time I questioned her about it she told me it had a logical explanation but she had no time to explain it. So one day I got on her nerves, irritated her and budged out the logic. Supposedly in times of ill lighting, people usually lost their valuable as they swept houses post sun set. As no one actually could clearly identify what was being swept away, people faced a few loses of valuable metals. Thus the superstition stepped in and forced people to give up the habit. This holds no sense today when we all work under electricity and also waste it as much by using it even when not needed.

I go on about a few more superstitions but I think I am way too bored writing about it. Nevertheless, I shall talk about one last thing. I have been questioned various many times about the fact that why Hindus don’t eat beef and why it is a taboo. Of course, the ‘Holy Cow’. But why the ‘Holy Cow’?

I grew up in a Hindu Brahmin family and I know the rules of praying to God at least once a day. So also did I learn about a few things about the Hindu culture and the Hindu mythology. According to it, there are 33 crore Gods a Hindu can pray to and kneel before. Interestingly all these 33 crore Gods reside in a cow and its various parts.

Hindus are believers of love and brotherhood. Not like any other religion or belief’s people and followers aren’t. This is not what I am trying to portray. Coming back, they have been using the cow for centuries now. To them it gives them milk, butter, ghee, it a beast of burden, helps them plough the fields (both the cow and bull) etc. this means that the animal is actually giving them a lot. It was also the main object of barter amongst many communities and also signified wealth to certain other communities. The cow’s skin comes handy as leather when it is dead and the skin of the animal is taken off only after it is dead. When so much was done by an animal, the Hindus decided to show some amount of respect and love towards this animal amongst others. That is how the ban on killing cows for their meat came up from times immemorial (basically since our ancestors gained a sense of things around them and started forming laws) and considered this animal holy and worth preserving.

This animal’s mythological importance gave it another stand still and held it in high priority of preservation and kept it against torture for many years and generations but not throughout.

This is how the cow gained the Holy status and people went about negating it and wanting to have more of the meat of this Holy animal.

These were some of the thoughts that propped up only from looking up at the sky. So far, the bad luck has only been in terms of India losing its first of the three matches against West Indies in the five match series and me suffering from a bad stomach. I don’t think this has been so bad but let’s wait and see how bad this can get!

Until then start thinking of new beliefs and logic to the old superstitions.